Me and men (rough)

I used to think of men as beings which have little monetary value. They were placeholders rather than providers. Replaceable objects… Me loving a man was inconceivable… I knew how to make love but did not Love. That’s probably why I started this blog and why I continued posting. It wasn’t because I didn’t know…

Desensitized

Another shooting Another number an addition to the death toll A subtraction in lives lost.   when will this end? when will we realize that we are the ones creating hate? let’s not forget that shootings and mass murders are not normal that this is not supposed to happen. Do not be desensitized. Instead react!…

Love the untouchable

I tend to do that Fall for the things I cannot have. I’m starting to realize that I fall too hard and too deep for some things in life. So I avoid it and instead search for things that are far from my reach… never really able to grab on to but just close enough…

Why I sit alone

People wonder why I go to bars alone. People find it odd that I eat out alone. Well, the truth is, I’ve always wanted to overcome the feeling of loneliness. The thing that people fear the most, I desire to overcome. Why? I don’t actually know. Maybe it’s because I(purposefully) don’t have too many friends….

Heavy Heart

Every time I speak of my younger brother, my heart tears a bit and I find new ways to stitch it back together. Every time someone asks me why I moved to Williamsburg I can’t help but take a deep breath in. The pain of loosing my old apartment and everything I’ve we’ve owned to…

Trust Issues

Do you know what I always ask myself…? Can I ever be with someone who hasn’t suffered or has seen suffering in this world? From my little experience with life, I’ve realized that I connect well with people who are suffering or have suffered and are not afraid to talk about it… people who are…

Home is…

Home is where I feel Where I can whither away Where I can be weak Where I can let go Where I can just lay And feel.

What I want in a man

I want a man that I can hike with. A man that I can run with.. even if we run our in own separate pace.. A man that I can wander throughout the city with by foot or by bike. A man who wants to make clay pots together or paint nights at home together….

I have found my happiness

For this first time in maybe a decade, I sat at home for a whole afternoon doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. I usually get anxious when in situations like this morning. Worrying about my lack of productivity.. constantly thinking of what’s next in my todo list… but this morning and afternoon.. I did nothing. Absolutely nothing……

Serve

I serve to save Not only to save others But myself. I’m trying to push myself to open myself up to uncomfortable situations. To create new and healthy habits that help me grow not only with myself but with others and in my faith. I’m learning to love others not only through the physical, but…